EP3 | Midlife Isn't a One Size Fits All

In this episode of the Women Are Not Okay podcast, Crystal explores the multifaceted challenges of midlife for women. She discusses feelings of overwhelm, isolation, and the need for genuine connection. Through shared experiences and collective struggles, she emphasizes the importance of community and support in navigating this complex life stage. The conversation highlights the journey of self-discovery and the empowerment that comes from acknowledging and expressing one's true feelings.

Keywords: midlife, women, connection, identity, empowerment, community, struggles, healing, support, purpose

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Real talk. Midlife. Mental health. Relationships. Mindfulness.
Because we’re not fixing it all today — we’re just not pretending anymore.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:03

Welcome to Women Are Not Okay, the self-help podcast where we talk all things mental health, relationships, and mindfulness. Can you admit that you're not okay? Let's be real. Things are shifting. Our bodies, our identities, our mentality, and our relationships. Girl, it's time for us to reclaim our sense of peace, sanity, and well-being. I'm Crystal, and no, I'm not okay. See, that was easy. Let's get into it. Hi, this is Crystal. Welcome to episode three of the Women Are Not Okay podcast. Today we're going to be talking about midlife and how it's not a one-size-fits-all situation. So a few months ago, deep in my midlife feelings, I posted a question in a Facebook group for midlife women. If you could describe in one word how you're feeling as a midlife woman, what would it be and why? I expected a few responses, maybe some validation. What I didn't expect was 72 comments and over 250 likes. And every single one of the comments, a word I could have used myself. At that moment, my word was overwhelmed. And honestly, sometimes it still is. I try like hell to figure out why I constantly feel this way, and a few things come to mind. I'm working a job I'm grateful for, but I'm wishing I could do more, or at least do it without the drama, unrealistic expectations, and did I mention drama? Trying and failing to be everything for everyone. Struggling to find motivation for literally anything. Wanting to tap into my creativity because, you know, self-care and all that. Figuring out money stress, bills, and adulting. Wondering what the hell my actual purpose is. And that's only half of it. Damn, I'm overwhelmed just reading this shit. But there's never enough hours in the day to do what we want to do. And I'm tired of wasting so many of them obsessing over this chaos. But reading those comments made me realize something. I'm not alone. And yet I still feel alone. Midlife has a way of isolating us. Not because we don't have people around us, but because we don't always feel safe telling the truth to them. It's easier to post anonymously on Facebook than to look a friend in the eye and say, I'm not okay. It's easier to write a caption than to admit to your partner that you feel invisible. It's easier to vent online than to risk being misunderstood offline. Why? Because we've been conditioned to perform wellness, to smile through the chaos, to be grateful, graceful, and fine, but fine is a lie. And midlife women are tired of lying. We want more than just surface level check-ins and how are you text? Even though those are good. We want connection, real, true connection. We want a tribe that doesn't flinch when we say, I forgot my kid at the sitters, because that did happen to me when my daughter was in sixth grade, and I still feel bad about it. But you know, life happens. Or I cried in the car today for no reason. Or I don't know who I am anymore. We want to be seen. We want to be heard. We want to be understood, not just for what we do, but for who we are. We want friendships that feel like exhaling. We want spaces where we can be messy, moody, magical, and still loved and not judged. Midlife isn't a one-size-fit-all situation. Some of us are raising kids, some of us are still raising adult kids, some of us are grieving losses, some of us are starting over. Some of us are just trying to make it through the damn day, and all of us deserve support. Because healing doesn't happen in isolation, it happens in community, in sisterhood, in the quiet moments when someone says, me too, and suddenly you don't feel so crazy. So maybe the real work of midlife isn't just figuring out our purpose or managing our stress. Maybe it's building the kind of connections that help carry the load. Maybe it's creating spaces like this one where we can stop pretending and start telling the truth. But of course, here's the thing about midlife. Nobody warns you that it's basically puberty with bills. Everything's changing again. Our bodies, our priorities, our tolerance for BS, our caffeine to sanity ratio. We're shedding identities we've worn for decades, the fixer, the caretaker, the overachiever, and realize half of them don't even fit anymore. Girl, it's confusing as hell. But also, you know, kind of freeing. Because maybe this version of us isn't falling apart. Maybe she's just getting real. And that's the beauty hidden inside all the chaos, clarity. Once the noise quiet down, even for a minute, we start to hear ourselves again. The whispers of what we actually want, what we're done tolerating, and what kind of peace we're no longer willing to negotiate. As much as it seems, that's not selfish. That's sacred. That's growth wrapped in exhaustion and a touch of sarcasm. So the real question is, what do we do about it? How do we stop drowning in this midlife mess? What do we actually need to push past the negativity? Maybe it starts with naming it, saying it out loud, refusing to shrink our struggles into polite silence. Because when 72 women echo your mood, girl, it's not a personal failure. It's a collective cry. And maybe that cry is the beginning of something powerful: a movement, a sisterhood, a space where we can stop pretending and start healing. If you're like me, you're probably wondering what some of these words were, right? So I'm gonna list the words that these women used. And here are a few that really struck a chord with me.

SPEAKER_00: 7:02

Overwhelmed, empowered, angry, exhausted, free, pained, stuck, invisible, underappreciated, bamboozled, suicidal, aggravated, relieved, disappointed, frustrated, tired, regretful, depressed, unheard, badass, happy, skeptical, uncertain, hopeless, blessed, annoyed.

SPEAKER_01: 7:54

And my very favorite, possessed. Ooh, I can feel that one. Do any of these words resonate with you? If so, let me know. I want to hear your word and I want to know your why. And if this episode made you nod and whisper, yeah, girl, same, share it with somebody who needs to feel less alone. Let's stop fitting into the boxes that were never made for us and start building something that actually fits. And I'll leave you with this. If I had to pick my one word today, it's becoming. Because even in this mess, even in the overwhelm, even when it doesn't make sense, I'm still becoming who I'm meant to be. And so are you. Until next time. Thanks for listening. Just so we're clear, I'm not a licensed medical health professional. I just pay really good ones who help me unpack all this chaos so I can come here and share it with you. Think of this as a pay and forward kind of thing. So until next time, protect your peace, set your boundaries, and remember it's okay to not be okay.