EP 12 | 10 Reasons Why Women Are NOT Okay ~ Holiday Edition

In this episode of the Women Are Not Okay podcast, Crystal discusses the top 10 reasons women struggle during the holiday season. From the overwhelming pressure of decorating and social obligations to the emotional toll of family conflicts and grief, she highlights the challenges women face and offers insights on self-care and managing expectations. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's limits and the need for rest and authenticity during a time often filled with unrealistic standards.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Welcome to Women Are Not Okay, the self-help podcast where we talk all things mental health, relationships, and mindfulness. Can you admit that you're not okay? Let's be real. Things are shifting. Our bodies, our identities, our mentality, and our relationships. Girl, it's time for us to reclaim our sense of peace, sanity, and well-being. I'm Crystal, and no, I'm not okay. See, that was easy. Let's get into it. This is Crystal and welcome to episode 12 of the Women Are Not Okay podcast. Today we're talking about the top 10 reasons women are absolutely not okay in this holiday season. If you're exhausted, overstimulated, or one peppermint mocha away from snapping, you're in the right place. I was talking to two of my girlfriends recently, and one of them listed about four reasons why she's barely functioning and wants to pull her hair out. And guess what? Those four things were already written into this episode, so that's when I knew it wasn't just a me thing or a her thing, it's an us thing. So let's get to it. Reason number one, decorating, also known as the Holiday Hunger Games. There is nothing, Mary, about climbing a ladder in the garage, arguing with your husband, wrestling a 50-pound tote label Christmas, only to find that it's containing nothing but tangled extension cords, broken ornaments, and decorations where the batteries have exploded in the last 11 months. Why do we decorate? We decorate because we're chasing a little bit of joy, or at least a moment that doesn't feel like pure chaos. But by the end, we're numb from glitter poisoning and begging people to not touch the tree. And why are we the only ones who know where the stockings are, where the stockings go? Where's the garland? Where does the garland go? Where are the batteries? We're the only ones because we're the default magical elves. A title that we did not apply for, but we were given first dibs at. And if one person tells me to just fluff the branches one more time, I'm gonna lose it. Reason number two parties and get togethers, also known as Social Obligation Olympics. Office parties, neighborhood parties, school parties, family parties, brunches, friends miss. At this point it's less Christmas and more like Coachella, but for introverts who decided they wanted to sign up to go and at the last minute changed their mind. We're tired. We're overstimulated. Girl, we're holding paper plates of appetizers at these parties, wondering how many more conversations we can survive before the next person asks us again. So what are you doing for the holidays? Girl, I'm trying to keep my sanity and not trying to cry in the bathroom. That's what I'll be doing. Oh, and let's not forget the cookie exchange. Yes, I would love to come to your cookie exchange. But let me just go and buy store-bought cookies and lie about it. And trust me, there's nothing wrong with that. Reason number three, planning an entire month of activities, and still, what's for dinner? This is the part that breaks us. We have calendars stacked upon calendars. Parades, dinners, events, secret Santa, white elephant, ugly sweater day. We plan every damn thing. And yet somehow, every single night, a voice yells from the other room or a text message pops up on your phone. Hey, what's for dinner? Excuse me. Um, but I just plan 25 days of joy for this entire family. So my advice, tell them to go and look in the freezer and pray about it. And if the answer isn't good enough, there's always DoorDash. Reason number four, shopping. Holiday shopping is basically a cardio workout with trauma. Crowds, lines, parking, meltdowns, adults fighting over the last air fryer. Here's a tip from your girl. Go to Starbucks, get your drink of choice, leave the house about 8 o'clock and shop at night. Less people, more parking, and nobody's judging you for being in your pajama bottoms. But just still keep it classy. And also, why in the hell does every store start selling Valentine's decor on December 2nd? Can we just get through this trauma before prepping for the next one? Reason number five. Finances, also known as Christmas, but make it a crime. Trying not to go broke while still making the holidays special is a full-time job that no one pays us for. We have to get creative. Inflation is rude. Kids' wish lists are bold as hell. And somehow the math never maths. Not in November, not in December, not ever. We're out here performing emotional and financial gymnastics trying to create memories that nobody will remember, but will absolutely cost us about$500 for just a couple small things. Reason number six, commercialism and holiday pressure. It's supposed to be a season of joy. But actually, it's a season of comparison, performance, doing the most, decorating the most, shopping the most, and being happy the most. It seems like every advertisement commercial screams, buy this or your family will be so sad. Meanwhile, I'm over here like, girl, my family's already sad. I'm good. Reason number seven, toxic perfectionism. Women are hit hard with this one. We want to create magic because we believe we should. We want to do it flawlessly because that's what we were trained to do. We think if anything is slightly off, we failed. Perfectionism is a joy thief in a Santa's hat. Your house does not have to look like a Pinterest board. Your tree doesn't need a theme, and your cookies don't need to look like Martha Stewart piped them herself. You don't need to be perfect, you need to be present. And honestly, present you is already doing more than enough. Reason number eight. Family and friend conflicts. Ah yes. The reason why sales skyrocket in December. Holiday drama is basically a family tradition. And we talked about everything in November. Oh hell no, November, right? December brings on a whole nother level of craziness. Passive aggressive comments. Old wounds resurfing. People showing up late or not at all. The emotional bingo card is full. I've got backhanded compliment, unexpected meltdown, and somebody brought up politics bingo. Women too often become the peacemakers, the emotional referees, the therapist. It's freaking exhausting. You're allowed to protect your peace, you're allowed to say no, and you're allowed to skip the battlefield and stay home with the leftovers. Reason number nine, loss and grief during the holidays. This one hits deep. The holidays amplify absence like nothing else. The empty seat at the table, the traditions we don't do anymore, the memories that suddenly feel heavier. Women carry the emotional load for everybody else. We hold space for the grief, for the remembering, for the family. But someone needs to hold space for you too. Grief is not linear. It shows up with bells on. You didn't do anything wrong, and grief doesn't ruin the holidays, it just reminds us that we're human. Reason number ten trying to maintain sanity as the keeper and doer of all the things. Women are the memory keepers, schedule coordinators, gift buyers, emotional support humans, holiday managers, glue holding everyone together. But you know what? The glue gets tired, glue dries out, glue needs a damn break. Preferably in a dark room with a blanket and zero responsibilities. We put pressure on ourselves because we think it's our job to make everything perfect, to fill voids, to fix things, to fix people, to prove something. Or maybe, just maybe, we're tired as hell and running on pure delusion and peppermint mocha. I really need to go to Starbucks. And honestly, the peppermint mocha is doing most of the work. Why do we put stress on ourselves? Sometimes because we want to create magic, sometimes because we're afraid to disappoint, sometimes because we're filling old wounds with new traditions, and sometimes because, yeah, we're a little crazy, but in a cute holiday theme kind of way. So in closing, here are a few takeaways for this holiday season. Women are not okay during the holidays because we're doing too damn much, caring too much, expecting too much from ourselves, and not expecting enough from other people. Takeaway number one, it doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. Takeaway number two, you're allowed to rest, even in December, a girl, especially in December. Takeaway number three, you don't owe anyone a merry version of yourself. Keep it real, keep it one hundred, keep it honest. Takeaway number four, your sanity counts as a holiday tradition too. And don't forget that. If nobody told you today, you're doing enough. You are enough. And the holidays don't work without you. And glitter? Hmm, glitter is optional. So until next time, thanks for listening. Just so we're clear, I'm not a licensed medical health professional. I just pay really good ones who help me unpack all this chaos so I can come here and share it with you. Think of this as a pay it forward kind of thing. So until next time, protect your peace, set your boundaries, and remember, it's okay to not be okay.